Will you be the next to fail me?

Again..another Saturday morning, I'd say majestic, fantastic and all but sorry the mood's in the way..As days go by I get more and more depressed with how I live my life here..I think this is what they call 'Absolute Depression', a state where depression is absolute (mutlak) and almost uncurable..masking my sorrow with happy faces, stupid jokes that only I comprehend or laugh to, as if nothing's wrong with my pitiful life IS the only way I managed to move on..

dragging my (almost) dead body, I sprayed some water to myself, got dressed up and made my way to the campus.. today's a big day, yeah.. there's some sort of a carnival goin on there.. even when I knew this stupid carnival won't make me any better, it's better than facing this lappy all day long.. man, I really need a Freundin..LoL.. I wonder how ugly dudes around the world managed to get themselves some beauties.. Truly I envy'em.. this may sound desperate but I'm not actually..for real.. hmm.. life goes on still..